How to Look Awesome - Clothes Part 1

When I look at someone I start narrating in my head. I create a story about a person based on their clothing, stance, hair, expression, and hygiene.

Many people will say appearances don't matter. For them, one of two delusions is going on. Either they are delusional because they wish the world was less superficial or they're uncomfortable with their own appearance and so try to fool themselves.

We know, however, that appearance is important. Why else are there hot people in fashion ads or geeky guys in tech ads? Marketing executives don't leave these things up to chance. Appearance is important.

Because appearance can be divided into several different segments, I will devote this post to clothing.

There are 2 things you'll need for this:

1. A cloth measuring tape
2. A willingness to possibly throw away your entire closet

First, you're going to need to measure 3 parts of your body: hips (at their widest part), waist (just above the navel), and chest (around the rib cage. Women will need to take an additional measurement around their breasts). Write these down!

The reason you did this is so you can tell what body shape you have (more or less). If you have wider hips and a smaller chest, you're a pear. If your chest and hips are even, you're an hourglass. If you're straight down the line, you're a ruler. If you are widest around the middle, you're an apple. Bigger on top? You're an inverted triangle.

Generally it is "better" for men to have broader shoulders, and women to have a smaller waist. These are the key things our bodies are programmed to look for (biologically). That said, the clothing you wear can highlight your assets while downplaying issues.

Contrary to popular belief, you want to avoid baggy clothes (even if you're trying to hide something!). Baggy clothes make you look fatter than you are. If you're trying to hide a paunch, try for something with cleaner lines and a nice drape (rayon or linen are good fabric choices). A good cut for a woman with a paunch is an empire waist (cut loved by pregger women everywhere!).

When it comes to pants, try to find something that actually fits your inseam (pants should join just below the crotch and hit at the ankles). If the inseam is too long, the crotch will be stressed and rip. Likewise the hem will drag on the ground and rip. Baggy pants make you look like you're in prison, squirreling something away, or recently had your stomach stapled (not cute!). Super tight pants will either cut off circulation to your nethers, or force fat up above your waistband (gross!).

General rules of thumb for body shape:

• Rulers - Women add shape with a flared skirt, belt, and ruffled top. Men add some heft to your shoulders with a blazer and stick to straight leg jeans.
• Pears - Women stick to floaty skirts that fit snuggly at the waist and hide the hips. Men need to make sure your pants fit well and your shirts are a good drape/cut to downplay the hips.
• Hourglass - This generally refers to women (and is considered the "ideal"). Always wear tops and dresses that highlight the waist. A baggy shirt will make an hourglass look fat.
• Apple - Tapered and skintight pants are a BIG no-no for everyone. Stick with things that drape well (tunics are a good idea). Straight leg is good for the bottom-half.
• Inverted triangle - This is the "ideal" for men. Women stay away from baggy shirts as this will make you look more like an apple. Both men and women should highlight slender waists. Knits are a good idea to help show off those beautiful shoulders (and big breasts!). Stay away from skintight and tapered pants. 

In my next post, I'll write about how to reinvigorate your closet with this new information. This is a process to overhaul your appearance. It takes time, and a bit of investment, but it is worth it to look impressively awesome.